what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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