He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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