I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
