What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
