i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
