U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
