hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
do herpes really smell.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
