I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Randomize
