Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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