I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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