TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
