After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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