HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
smell my finger.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
