yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish ðŸ€
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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