This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
