I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
