Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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