Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
