so explain again why im purple
no
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
