so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
