U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
