Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
