we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
