Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
