You made me cry and you don't even care
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
