Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
did i just pee glitter
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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