Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
this boner is exhausting
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Randomize
