Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
