dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Randomize
