If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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