Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
