oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
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