dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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