worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
