I am puke
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
