She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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