Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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