he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
