It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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