did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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