so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Randomize
