My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
