I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Randomize
