she takes plan B like it's going out of style
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
