well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
