And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
