A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
