i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
