Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
