a search helicopter?!
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
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